A toast to the cosiness...just perhaps don't take the bike.

It's dark.  The rain is falling from the sky like a suicide from a high rise.  I may or may not have had more than my fair share of a cloudy amber substance served in half litre glasses (by my calculation I've had about 8).  And I've nearly lost a shoe, which if left to the Gids would have been a casualty of war if I had not decided to salmon across a wide 8 lane Munchen junction, screetching 'LEAVE NO MAN BEHIND.'*  The way to our hotel, basically a mile long straight line from Theresienwiese (the Oktoberfest park) to Brudermuhlstrabe, is incomprehensible to us and we seem to be locked in a labyrinth of modern shops and ornate Italian style architecture.  Every ten seconds I have to stop, and check the mighty Google.  Every twelve seconds, I hear the awkward clang and thud of a slow fall of shame, and I turn to see the 6 ft 5' Gids and his bike lying prone on the ground hands still clutching the handlebars wondering how I got so tall.  His head is still up right, his eyes locked on mine and his feet still on the pedals.  The dulcet tones of chiseled well meaning Germans fill the air: 'You should walk' they say, 'the police will have issue' they say.  'Nahh, I'm fine...' he says, '...as long as we're still moving' he says.  We stop at a corner, my bike is slowly scrapping down my own legs and I'm suddenly not strong enough to hold it up.   Why is this happening??!  Both my feet are planted firmly on the ground, I am standing, and I haven't fallen once!  I turn round. My boyfriend is still by all accounts on his bike, but he's rammed it right into the back of mine and doesn't seem to realise this has stopped him and his position is going achingly slow from vertical to horizontal, dragging my bike down with him.  Indeed he 'winks and smiles' in a cheery manner at me with a joi de vive of someone living his best if slightly intoxicated life, to the sound of metal bike spokes twanging.  For myself, I don't realise I'm intoxicated until the thoughts, 'If I tie up one of the bikes, I'm sure I can drag him by the ankles home'.

NOMMMMM!

Needless to say we're lucky we're both alive, not in the jail, or in therapy. And Munich is an excellent place to visit and cycle.  Just don't go to the Oktoberfest at noon, before lunch, intend to have a quick beer before absconding round to see the sights, but in fact, stay in a cosy little corner sandwiched between other friendly welcoming German couples all laderhosen and drindl, toasting you every 5 minutes for the next 8 hours.

The bike I was riding:

An Electra Townie low rider with a killingly wide seat and fat tyres.Turning a corner was like trying to stuff a half inflated mattress into a bag for life.

We'd got them from Mikes Bike Hire, having the previous day done Mikes Bike Tour round Munich - lead by cheery American Bobby (not Robert), whom for the rest of the holiday caused my boyfriend to shake his head mournfully and murmur 'a degree in Entreprenualship'.

The city itself is like visiting an elegant old aunt - there's no rush in her company as there's a twinkle in her eye and a talent for comfortable hospitality.  The area where we stayed was equally lovely.  Two stops to Marienplatz on the underground and less than ten minutes on the bike.  There was plenty of bakeries for a coffee and a thickly buttered pretzel in the morning, with local pubs and restaurants for dinner at night. Riding by the River Isar we'd be led to The English Garden where local surfers would ride the man made rapids piped into the parks streams, and on hot days the students would dip fully clothed in those streams to be swept along to shallower shores.

Lets hear it for the girls!**

We were there the first weekend of Oktoberfest. Which is the last weekend in September and we appeared to catch the last couple of weeks of the summer (if you're going during June-October time make sure you get a hotel room with an air conditioner, not worth going otherwise) so blistering sunshine with the exception of that night.  Though if you want a concise list of things to do and know here it is now:

• Do Mikes Bike Tours and hire yourself a bike.  Even if you're not normally a biker it is perfectly safe and easy to cycle, they have designated bike lanes in their busiest of street and you will miss odd little sights going from Underground to Underground (not that that's a knock against their public transport, it is of course, better than ours.)
• They don't do half pints.  A small is a half litre and a large is a stein.
• If you're veggie expect cream and a dumpling on everything. 
• Respect the Oktoberfest.  The area it's held in is surrounded by residential flats so leave quietly, don't park your bike on their garden railings, and for pity's sake know your limits.  If you 'think' you're going to be alright, you're probably not.  Leave the bike behind and use public transport.  The bikes' will be perfectly alright provided they're locked up properly and you can always wander back in the morning.

Just say no, kids.  Just say No!

Do you have any tips for cycling in Munich?  Where would you guys recommend as a good holiday destination?  Leave your cycling holiday tips below!

Wishing you a safer but just as brilliant holiday.

Prosit!

Jx

*Which is better than 'Don't Mention the War'.

** Sharing that board she's on with what I assumed may have been her mother (or sister), that little girl didn't always jump far enough forward to catch that permanent wave, but when she did she kicked the arse of most of the blokes out there.   

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Dinae Cast yer Cloot...

ava' this year.

The weather in Scotland is like living next to a wild but well meaning neighbour.  Occasionally they're good fun and they mean you no real harm, but there are times where you need to hide in the house and ignore the banging at the door, on the window, or shouting down the chimney.   And considering this is now September and officially Autumn', there has been a lot of banging at the door and shouting down the chimney. None the less I find myself in a typical British quandary over what to wear.  Despite it being very mild in temperature up here, no-one in their right mind would go out without a coat, or some form of outerwear.  If you cycle, this of course means that it's both too warm to wear a coat, but not dry enough to leave without one which leads me onto the first point of this post. What to wear.

The second one is I read an article last year in a broad sheet Sunday news paper that listed 10 essential items for commuting on the bike.  Not only was there a whole bunch of electronics listed but there was also a crap load of technical gear - and besides the bike, nothing there was essential.  Don't get me wrong.  There are longer commutes, I know folk that regularly do 15 - 20 miles out and then the same back, and yes, I doubt anyone could do that comfortably in jeans.  Those kind of folks are usually hard core gnarled saddle wankers who don't know that heals were originally worn by men for stirrups, and have long forgotten how to wear underwear.  But for the not so serious, for folk like myself, who neither want to wait or pay for a bus to take us 15 minutes down the road, and generally too lazy to walk the mile to the post office...  What do we need to consider, and what do we actually need?

Now you're ready!

1.  A Mac. Rain, whilst not the worst thing on the bike, can be uncomfortable,  A damp set of jeans or trousers can be chaffing. Wearing a mac won't stop you getting wet in random places but it will negate sticky dampness in the most particular of places. 

Bring the Rain!

 I think this one was £20 out of Millets (or somewhere like that) two years ago, and is technically a Jack in a Pack.  I lost my previous one on a bus to T in the Park and we ended up getting this one at New Year whilst in Edinburgh.  A word of warning -  make sure you are buying ones that say 'waterproof.'  There are a lot of cheaper nylon weave versions that aren't waterproof that look like they should be but aren't.  They even come with hoods though what for I'm not sure.... *shakes head disparagingly*.

 2. Gloves.

*Jazz Hands to Self*

 Being cold on the bike is far worse I find.  Numb chilled hands are dangerous, they can over compensate on the breaks, over or under click on gears and just be plain painful.  The rain with just a slight wind can chill your hands, on a cool summers evenings your hands can be surprisingly painful.  And yes, the weather proof ones are nice, but if you don't want or have the £30 quid to spend - or like me you're always loosing them - plain woolly ones are fine.  You can double them up if  you buy a couple of pairs for when it's particularly chilly,  they're light enough to make you comfortable during the cooler summer evenings, they're easily replaceable, and if you get into habit of having them with you at all times, you'll be the envy of all at Scone Rewind when it starts hail stoning in July.   Mine are from Primark, I buy about 6 packs of two for a pound when they show up in the shops.  I put them everywhere.

3. Scarfs are particularly handy.

I'm invisible, but naked, except for the scarf.

Do not use a woolly scarf. The scarf has to be thin enough to wear under your helmet and wrap around your neck without being constrictive to head movement, and to fold down into nothing, but also long enough to be useful.  I'd think you'd be stretching the usefulness of a buff so I wouldn't recommend those.   Even if you're a bloke, consider venturing into the ladies accessories bit of any of the bigger department stores and asking if they've got any large light wraps or jersey material scarves in plain colours (or bright ones if that's what you like). The kind of material  you want is the same kind that t-shirts are made of.  And there's absolutely nothing wrong cutting across an old t-shirt just under arms.  This would make an infinity scarf.  These are scarves sewed into an '8' shape, and very easy to wear loose on the neck but at the same time can be wrapped tight leaving no ends that bunch up uncomfortably, or dangle precariously at wheels or pedals.   It'll keep your ears, neck, and chest warm.  It will go aways to keeping you dry if you're out without your mac or it's not practical to put a hood up.  It will wipe the rain off your seat,  the sweat off your face, and keep you warm if you find yourself cold when you've got to your destination.  Hell you can even tie it round your neck and pretend your flying on your bike if you like!    The one pictured I made myself.  It's an infinity scarf.  I sewed it up using some very thin jersey material I found in John Lewis on sale.

What do you wear whilst on the short commute?  When do you not get all lycra'd up?  I myself refuse to put the lycra on for anything under 10 mile return... what's your magic number of miles? Let me know in the comments!

Jx

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Le Tour!!!!

Why I have really enjoyed Le Tour De France this year.


In no particular order (at least not consciously) :-

1. Tony Martin - watching him time trial the third stage after being milliseconds behind the course leader.

2. Tony Martin again - watching him do a slow awkward and painful fall of shame in the fourth stage, break his collarbone, finish the race, congratulate his team mate, do interviews about the crash, raise a glass to his team in general then go to hospital to get checked out. SERIOUSLY?!?!  Show me a footballer that would do that.

3. Peter Sagan - Always the bridesmaid never the bride, but still putting on a show - going for it in the breakaway and giving his best stab at climbing - and watching him fly like green swift down the descents!! If I had testicles, they'd be up in my abdomen. His finishing time and time again in second place yet still turning up for his interviews like he's having the best time of his life (which he probably is) is just... wow.

4.  Nairo Quintana - Here's to the short arses!  Making it difficult for Froome every step of the way and not doing things by halves.  Watching him sling shot on stage 18 (I think?) then power his way up the Alps just to get second place.

5.  Froome - I'm warming to him.  I'm more inclined to see him as a genetic freak with overly large lungs that a doper, and even with all that aside I did like to see him break a sweat over Nairo getting to the top before him (I know it's not a simple than that -  but some time it is).

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JkTQTIo0_4c" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Jx

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