...The exception is I got crapped on by an Aberdeen Sea Gull. I think it was this one. No doubt those crisps belonged to orphans, and when the ransacking and thievery from babes in arms gets boring he he looked upon other sport.
The thing is the Gulls up here are not normal gulls. Feeding on the fish trawlers, swallowing eels whole (I have actually seen this, it wriggled as it went down his throat) they live well into their twenties with the surrounding lore that goes with any animal that can stare down the dominating species and win. My favourite was that Aberdeen City Council had hired the sniper to shoot down the meanest ones - because they will and they have swooped down to take your food from your hand, not like Mary Poppins 'feed the birds...tuppence a bag...traa laa laa.' Oh no! They swoop down and snatch under threat of your eyes! The general populace lives in abject terror of these things. They had a Face Book page but like all good terrorist organisations they're hard to pin down.
I will not be cowed, oh no. I shall re-claim my streets, and they can crap on me all they like (within reason) besides, I'm Scottish, black cats and being shit on is lucky.