Tuesday, 30 December 2014

What to do instead of blogging

1.  Work Out.

As I think I said before I have actually put on about a stone from being on our travels.  And there comes a time in everyone's life when they need to admit they're getting older. I'm 36 this year, it's quite old, and the older you get the more muscle you lose so I've decide to work on that. Which leads me to my second thing you do when you're not blogging.

2. Buy cheap sports gear from amazon.

Besides the expense I have no intention of going to the gym in January. Ever. In fact it's not something I would recommend to anyone. It's not a good gym experience. I'm not opposed to joining the gym myself and I have actually missed going to the gym seeing people work out.  But don't go in January,  go in February since that's when anybody it's been a fad for has jacked it in.

3. Buy cheap sports clothing from Primark!

£3.50 for a sports bra thank you very much! 8 quid for running tights yes please! The same for a purple fleecy and  cosy hoodie don't mind if i do!  OK, the sports bra is it going to hold you secure but for something to wear under your proper sports bar that you paid 50 quid for, so doesn't get quite as sweaty, so you don't need to wash it quite so often - or perhaps that's just me -  saves on wear and tear of your over the shoulder boulder holder.

The general plan is I'm going to do some basic weight training until the end of January, and we've got the Etape Caledonia and the Etap Loch Ness coming up but I really haven't sorted out any dates for that as well as some idea of a program.  I'm not going to plan out anything too stringent as anything i do plan out will be fairly loose and changeable, since I can't stick to any sort of regimen at the moment.

I'm also doing this on the blogger app on my android phone using the microphone speech thing.  I hope it makes it easier to get pictures from my phone onto my blog pages as that's where I normally keep my photos for the Blog.  I am actually doing this in the house and it would be a lot easier on my computer but maybe good for out and about.  Though I do think my sentences are a little stifled. What do you guys think? Can you tell?


Sunday, 30 November 2014

I'm sick...

and I'm injured.

I've been doing one legged squats partly because I found the 100 squat challenge really easy, and anyway, who has time to do 100 squats?  So I've been doing 40 squats each leg and either it's showing up some kind of weakness in my left leg or I'm pulling some muscle when I do it but it hurts.

Not only that but I seem to have picked up a cold somewhere.  So woh. Woh is me.

On the plus side I've been doing actually quite well on my challenge.  I am managing (for the most part) several strength exercizes each day.  In the interests of full disclosure I did miss a day of squats as I wanted to rest my sore leg which seems to have done the trick.  We should also get a delivery on tuesday of some units which will make the back room more hospitable to turbo train in.

Thursday, 20 November 2014

I don't want to jinx anything...

but I managed to get off my little bot-bot both today and yesterday.  I shan't call it a roll until tomorrow.  I've also started a 30 day squat challenge (I managed 50 today) and a press-up challenge (on my knees at the moment, cos I'm so frigging weak, damn you cycling damn you.)

Without stating the obvious, it is the starting a keeping these things up which is key.  But rather unfortunately I' aways week so I don't really know how that is going to fair really.  I've begun taking my computer with me everywhere now so that'll be difficult.  I can ofcourse just go for a run both days but we'll see.  Hrmm.


Tuesday, 18 November 2014

I'm a terrible seamstress...

I was going to put sewer.  Which is right: I am a terrible sewer, I smell quite nice.  But not what I'm trying to describe.  The point I want to make (but in three lines have not) is that the only thing worse than my sewing is my reliability as a blogger. None the less I'm here now.

I did do 'fitness' both yesterday and today.  I was even on the turbo trainer to today, though I have to say I prefer the skipping for warming up.  6 minutes on the bike doesn't really seem worth it.  I have also decided to cut down a little on the whole body weight programe.  I'll still do it every day but there is no way in hell I'm going to be able to do it as wrote.  I think it's for folks who already have some sort of weight training experience and just can't get to the gym.  I on the otherhand have no weight training experience and am weaker than a very weak thing.  I've also taken a rather rotund picture of myself to see if there is any difference by Christmas over what I look like a la pintrest/instagram  thought it shall appear neither of those places and might not even need to appear here.

So, onwards etc.


Sunday, 16 November 2014

Did I get all my ducks in a row on Friday?


Did I do anything yesterday?


Did I do my Bodyweight thing since Thursday?


Am I still in pain?


Right, Garry Garmin is on charge and Reset #Fitnesschallenge is in place.  Half an hour of exercise a day.  I'll set up the turbo trainer and switch between that and the bodyweight course because there is no way in hell I'm going to manage every day doing that, for the first couple of weeks at least.  

May god help us all.


Friday, 14 November 2014

I have Of Course Signed up For Etape Caledonia 2015...


The gids shall be venturing out with me, but my lack of exercise fits in with my lack of posts and any discussion about that massive trip I had.  I have also (shocker) put on a STONE.  I'm 11 stone people,  (5ft) and the weird thing is I don't 'look' any fatter.  I've only done a little running and hardly any cycling so I'm fairly sure it's not muscle.

The good news is I've found my chest strap for my garmin.  The bad news is I don't even know if that works anymore.  More good news is that I started a body weight programe, (much like insanity, but also nothing like insanity), the bad news is after starting it yesterday I'm struggling to raise my hands over my head.

In more bad news I'm supposed to do a bit today.  The good news is I'm really not going to.

Anyway. I think I have to have a go at another challenge.  I'm going to get my ducks in a row today then start tomorrow I think.

1.  Do some form of exercise every day.  I'm going to be fairly light on this one.  I'll aim to do the programme but it's a weights based programme and I've not done any weights since ever.

2. Post about it.

3.  I've not done a turbo session in quite a while so I'll get that set up.  Garry Garmin and all, and do my warm up on that.

I'll wear the garmin and post my results.


Monday, 13 October 2014

Things you need to know on coming back from travelling...

1.  You'll need about a week to get used to being home, and then it'll be like you've never been away.  Which is miserable.

2.  Home sickness is like eye strain.  You don't realise you miss something until it hits the eyes and then a relief floods and a tight strap that's been winding it's way from your heart to your head - so slowly you weren't even aware it was there - is loosened, and you can breathe freely.

3.  Heat is over rated.  Give me a damp cold fresh air that cools the lungs instead of making them warmer any day.

4.  A decent common all garden cup of tea is, not that common nor available in all gardens.  And yes, that fact is indecent.

Needless to say I'm back on my trip around the world (*echo*).  It's taken a while to motivate myself generally, and seem to be coming over all Victorian melancholy.  I'm glad to be back though and have given myself the proverbial kick up the arse.  In saying that, if there's any tips any one has to help me re-assimilate myself back they would be most appreciated.


Saturday, 30 August 2014

I've not given up blogging....

...I'm just doing a spot of travelling at the moment... That's all.  I'll have plenty to bore you with once I'm done!!!


Wednesday, 23 July 2014

I'm not one to criticise but...

Have you ever watched Robson Green's Extreme Fishing?  I don't fish.  I don't even eat fish, I'm a veggie, but I do like to see yon actor from various things on at 8pm on ITV (usually a Sunday) gets over excited about pulling or failing to pull different marine life out the sea.  And he does it all over, America, the Andes, the more remote bits of Europe.  He's been on a fishing boat in Brazil. He's gone north sea fishing. He doesn't always catch anything, mostly he's shown up by the locals who show him their neck of the woods.  He's been sick on camera, almost stung in the face by a poisonous spitting octopus, and camped on a tropical beach, ate his catch by the campfire and watched the sun rise.  That's a good show.  The Cycle Show is not this Show.

Have you seen Top Gear? Silly question, I know, but bare with me as I can't drive, I have a secret intention of never learning.   But I will watch three middle everything - aged, class, spread, England, - idiots career around various countries, occasionally in the style of said countries second hand motor of choice.  High jinks and bickering generally ensue as these three giant spoilt children are taken out of their comfort zone into countries that will tire, muck, infect and occasionally stun them into silence with the beauty of that countries landscape.  When they're not doing that they occasionally look at swanky cars no one else can afford, the occasional affordable car, adopt a style of driving they don't usually do (caravaning, aquatic, train), and have someone very famous try their hand at rally driving. They'll race their cars against other forms of transport (the cars don't always win). The Cycle Show is not this Show.

Both these shows are interesting to people who drive, or fish as there is an element of fantasy, a glimpse of how you would live if you had the budget you wanted and then some.  But the vast majority of these shows are watched by people who don't drive or fish, because these shows are not just about their main subjects.  These shows are mostly about the joy of these subjects.  The Cycle Show on ITV4 is not one of those Shows.

Remember how you never watched Blue Peter because it was like School.  Well, The Cycle Show that show. The presenter is certainly professional.  But he's also half saddle wanker, half panorama-esque journalist, his attempts at bonhomie are circa a repressed vicar from the 1800's, and, this is the unforgiveable thing, he does it all wearing Meggings.  Grey ones. There's no reason for any man to wear Meggings.  NONE. AT. ALL.

The show on the whole is very, well, it's like those  lone ranging time trialing weirdy beardies from the sixties and seventies tried to 'get down with the kids', and missed the mark completely.  But it does have it's good points.  Out of all their guests from the episode I watched, to my surprise I found myself agreeing with Masterchef John Terrode when he said 'No I don't cycle because I eat, I eat because I enjoy it, and I cycle because I enjoy it' whilst sitting in the TV studio in a healthy fug of his own dampness.  I identified more with that than I did with any other item on the 30 minute programme.  That simple statement classified why there was a need for a programme the cycling show purports to be but is not.

There seems to be an assumption that they don't have to explain why cycling's important.  Where it comes from, why you should listen to the weird skinny old man riding the lotus in the heavy woollen jersey, the industry it had behind it, and the effect that had on bikes today and why cycling should fit in our every day today.

There's none of the joy expressed, the joie de vive of the feeling of air in your face, or from the accomplishment getting about under your own speed. A lot of it seems geared to those who want to do an etape on the continent.  Who will travel miles to get that hill under their belts, and who's got the cash to flash on Rapha, which is what is marginalising the sport now.

There could be so much more to the show than features that read like dry mountain bike show leaflets, or talking about sports products that very few people have a use for.  Where's the new start, the fish out of water, and the old hand trying to compete with the new blood.  How about taking a velodrome rider and sticking him up a mountain using a ski lift and giving him a fat tyre bike. Or even getting a newly accomplished roadie and giving him technology that was available 30 years back.

How about taking a new sportive rider and showing them how the pro's descend on a corner?  What about doing profiles on cycling through the ages?  How it affected the working man, the child and woman's movement?  The kind they used and why.  About cycling during the wars.  About people who have turned to cycling yet never have been a cyclist before.  The debate over padding versus no padding.  Lycra and the rise of the Mamil. About why next door needs four bikes, about clipped in pedals and the slow fall of shame, how to handle it if you're being shouted at by an angry idiot on the road, how to do round abouts when you can't go fast enough to jump on?  Where is the feature on why knickerless lassies should always ride bikes I ask you?!

It's frustrating.  It could be a far better show than what it is just now, and they are trying but who are they trying for?  Not every one who watches Top Gear cares about grands hatch (if that is a motor thing), and I can't even think of a fishing competition.  A little less of the what we do, and why wouldn't go a miss.

What do you guys think?  Do you agree, disagree with me on the show?  Have you not even seen it before?  What features would you like to see? Let me know on the comments below!


Thursday, 17 July 2014

You'll never guess where I've been....Yorkshire!!!!!!

We went down on Friday and back on Sunday.  I had intended to post whilst there which would have been brilliant but my phone didn't have T'interweb.

It was however bloody brilliant! We were in Harewood House, we saw the peloton slide by - I saw Mark Cavendish before he fell over, and Peter Sagan was fixing something on his bike.

Then Chris Froome fell over, poor sod.  Then that vegan Contador.  So I recon (though to be fair, for every one I've picked so far they've fallen over) it'll be Nibali all the way now, but that giant child Segan has my sympathy.  His situation is proving that all the points in the world won't get you a stage win.  Particuarly when Kittel's got his eyes on the prize.  It's those giant shoulders of his, I'm sure Marcel could hold up bridges with those things, since Segan - who's already a fair size in the general cycling way of things - can't even squeeze past.  I swear in the sprint finishes to come, if Peter Segan doesn't get on Stage podium, his pouty lip will get so large they'll be able to sit yon cuddly lion on it.

Still, do you not think it's been really good now the faves have gone?  It's really something to watch those sole finishers,  I nearly can't watch the last 50 meters, even when they get to a point where the peloton's not going to catch them, as I'm waiting for who ever it is to fall over, get a puncture, or kidnapped by aliens such is my pesimism. Tony Gallopin's stage 11 win particuarly heroic.  Well done!  I wasn't sure he was going to make it, it was almost heart breaking but then he managed it.  They were talking on ITV4 about how going into the mountains people will just gird their places like loins, but I think we might see a few lesser knowns, and possibly a few newbies try for the stage wins in the mountains which is exciting to watch!

What are you guys looking forward to seeing in the Tour this year? Or are there those of you who can't wait until it's over?


Wednesday, 2 July 2014

I'm not sure... But I think the sunshine is making people in Aberdeen Mad.

So... I'm meeting the Gids and a mate for dinner in town, and naturally I whip out The Brompton.  My route is pretty straight forward, up though the bottom half of Old Town, round the back of the Uni down the back of the top end of George Street, round the side of the posh school and I'm more or less there.

When I get to the back of the Uni, a man in a company van (I know the company so if it happens again, you can guess what I'll be doing) drives up along side of me (on a two lane road, with islands) and shouts and swears at me because I moved out of the cycle lane, which ended, and into the normal road area.  Then, on the same road, I signal to turn right, and a woman in a volvo takes that moment to try to take me over, to be fair when we make eye contact she moves back again.  Then when I'm cutting through the back of George Street, a man who makes a wide turn, stops and tries to tell me it's a one way road.  It's not.  I have to point out there are no No Entry signs from where I was coming from, nor is there any 'One Way' blue signs from where he came. The 20 mph limit paint work is even marked both sides of the road. Whilst he didn't like being told he was wrong, I wasn't swore at either, so I'll take that as a friendly exchange.

Now, cycling in Aberdeen has got better.  This week, when my ankle went and I slipped of my pedal and the guy driving the car behind me (even though he had a face like fizz) waited until I got myself and my bike on the pavement, but there was no shouting or anything.  I've been stood at the edge of the road whilst out on a training ride and had folks nice enough to stop and ask me if everything is OK?  Is my tyre flat? Am I lost?  The answer to that last one is usually 'Yes' but in the fun way, not 'In the desert' kind of way.  More people than ever that used to drive cars are on their bikes, so more people are happier to give you more room, wait for adequate space to take you over, and know where and what a bike lane is.  It's just... It has to be the weather.  The long days... are  reverse werewolf's the folks here.  Instead of ravenous animalistic behaviour at night, they'd rather passively aggressively, or some times just down aggressively have a go at an easy target.  It doesn't figure.

Is there any particular time of year or weather that you find drives people nuts?  I think it might just be Aberdeen that does this but it'd be nice to know geogeraphically if this weather type phenomena happens anywhere else.

Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Garry Garmin Chest Strap...

...where art thou?

The last time I remember having it was going for a run about a week ago, where I went over my ankle and was laughed at by a fishing bloke, a fisherer, fishist, bloke gone fishing.  No major damage as I was able to walk it off, but my chest strap seems to have taken the huff and absconded.  None the less did a 40 minute turbo session yesterday (I'll upload on twitter in case you're interested).

What else... Tour de France starts on Saturday!!! Woop Woop!  I can't remember if everyone's favourite short arse will be there or not.

So... what are you looking forward to in the Tour?  And what's your most embarrassing moment whilst doing 'sports'?


Friday, 27 June 2014

Things you need to know about Greece and Athens Part 2

5.  They have Casual Dining down to a fine art.  And it is Casual Dining with capital letters, sorry Capital Letters.  There are many places as you walk down any given street in Greece.  Open store fronts, with fans that emanate a cooling breeze invite you to sit and people watch with a large glass of water and an espresso freddo (ask for it sweet).  They look like the kind of places I end up when I'm drunk, professing love for the Pie Whisperer (any given poor sod behind the counter) for his magical pies (they loose any glamour by morning and sit looking congealed and cold next to me on the pillow the next day) and crying over my chips cheese and curry sauce because they make me soo happy because I've been soo hungry, and my feet are soo sore (wearing silly shoes again).  But these places are so very different.  For a start, there's no drunk lads having a rammy outside, ever.  Nor is there any sort of take away detritus lying about the street in front.  Instead there's a clean and shining floor, a couple of pot plants and a few tall tables - practically out on the road - for people who want to drink water and beer with their friends whilst watching the foot ball on the big screen.   There is a little cheering from these folks - but just a little.  It is a dining experience after all.  The food served, unlike my frozen chips and cheese back home, will be a little better thought through.  For example, it will still be frozen chips, but they'll be twice fried properly.  First at a lower temperature to cook the insides, and then again at a higher temperature to crisp up the outsides, and they'll come to the table salted and dressed with a mixture of oregano and coriander.  The cheese will not be the pasteurised, orange plasticky kind, but a salty feta dressed with a little oregano.  No curry sauce, I'll have salad - I am on holiday after all - with tomatoes the size of apples and juicier than peaches.  MMMMmmmmmmm!  And there you can sit for hours.  There's no rush at all, to the point that you have to tell the waiter that you'll have another bottle of Fix and Mythos (drink Mythos from the draft only, in the bottle it has quite a metalic taste), and eventually, because he has heard you, he'll toddle over uncap your bottles, and then fetch you another litre of water because beer without water... well, they're not savages.  But that's another post...


Thursday, 26 June 2014

Things you need to know about Athens and Greece Part 1.

1.  When crossing the road, hold hands.  No one wants to die alone.  Yes, who was it that said 'It's a dangerous thing, leaving your front door..'? I think it was a hobbit.  But I don't think he'd quite envisioned being taken out by an entire family including the dog, all perched pricariously on a scooter and not one of them wearing a helmet.  No.. wait... the dogs' got one, only having decided that his elbow is the most precious thing on his body, he's got his front paw hooked through the visor section, as contrary to popular belief, it's his doggy arm and not his brain the surgeons have trouble mending.

Further to this:

2. When the green mans green look straight ahead at the other side of the road to safety.  There seems to be some sort of cultural more that I'm not getting, that when I make eye contact with drivers under these circumstances, they assume I'm either some kind of threat and must be taken out forth with, or that I wish for suicide and they're very happy to oblige.

And further once more on this:

3.  Be aware that traffic, cars, scooters, lorries, buses, and even trams will assail you from all and every direction.  They have an excellent public travel system.  For 1 euros 40, you can get right across the city, using busses, trams (a particularly civilised way to travel), and their metro which pisses all over FirstBus and the Edinburgh Tram system. But these items are subject to the same road rules as above so unless you are actually on one of them, be aware.  You can be standing on tram tracks and wondering if the heats making you think that a big shiny train is heading right for you.  Just so you know, it's not the heat.

In saying all this:

2. Go for a wander.  On foot.  Have I just taken leave of my senses, given my first three points?  No I haven't.    I'm not saying be stupid, wave your money about or get yourself horrendously lost, nor am I saying I've never heard of any tourist or other getting mugged, but Athens is a surprisingly comfortable and non-violent city, particular for tourists.  It is a city that never truly sleeps, where your regular Athenian family can - children and all - be found having dinner at 11 pm at night.  The equivalent of their tabacs - little stalls that are open when you get to your own hotel bed at 2 in the morning, but still open when you leave for Hydra at 7am - never close and have owners that seem to live within their cigarette packeted walls.  Don't think you can't sit at that little bar on the corner, that's  down that quiet residential street, sip your ice cold beer, with all the other locals who have one eye on the silent TV in the corner and are shooting the breeze - loudly and with hand movements - whilst they nurse their own beers and smoke their cigarettes until three in the morning.  How else will you find that little canteen with the butter beans in tomato sauce, served with rice and mint stuffed peppers baked to an almost bbq but not bitter finish? Or the tiny coffee and ice cream place,  that filled your cone from the bottom up or that Slouvaki place that does the hand made pitta, and the garlickyist Tzatzki you've ever had.  But I'm getting onto a subject that really deserves it's own post so I might leave this here for now.

Unfortunately we never got a chance to cycle.

Tuesday, 10 June 2014

There are several differences between Cycling and Running.

For a start, running against the wind is NOT the same as cycling against the wind.  No way.

Secondly, hills are very different.  The slow climb on a bike is not the same on your feet.  You can slow right down on your feet, right down, taking the tiniest steps in the world, and short of a sudden bout of vertigo, or something a bit bappit, you'll not not fall over.  Along with the short sharp 10% gradient which you could puff your way up in a bike, your lungs were burning but your thighs were fine, running your legs don't want to play any more and your lungs have decided to walk home themselves.

Thirdly, going through a muck patch, you'll only get your face in it if you've fallen, when you're on your feet, and you can step round it.  On a bike, you're either going through it, with god knows what in your hair, or not at all (to whit it'll be the slow fall of shame, in park-and-woods crap).

I'm mostly on the bike for travelling.  And I'm quite enjoying.  The insomnia's a bit touch and go at the moment.  I didn't do any exercise yesterday, (but did on Sunday) and didn't sleep well.  I'm dozing off, but not fully falling asleep and waking up several times in the night.  It's more to do with long days since the only thing that kept going round in my head last night was having two biscuits.  One of them was broken giving me three sections of biscuit, I was debating the import of when to eat the unbroken one.  Seriously.  This is what keeps me up.

Still.  We go to Greece next week and I'm trying to find a cycling tour in Athens.  The one I found was full unfortunately. We've also planned a big trip leaving late July. Though I think that deserves a proper post.

Until then what holidays have you got/had going on this year, and what was your favourite part?


Thursday, 5 June 2014

Niaro and the Giant Trophy

So... A tiny wee man has won a giant swirl of gold, and the only thing bigger than that is his smile.

The only reason I'm mentioning this now is because we're a couple of days (all right, a week) behind I've just googled it whilst watching the last stage.

But I have to say it's pretty good.  I'm a bit of a fan for several reasons.  Firstly, as a fellow short arse I feel it's a triumph for short arses all round.  It says, yeh, we may not be able to reach things but who needs to when we can climb mountains like that.  And now when someone says to me 'Good things come in small packages'  and I say 'What?  Like smallpox and addictive narcotics?' I can also answer 'and Giro winners.' Two, neither of us suit that shade of pink.  And C he's been generally quite smiley about it, which is very nice.  He's only 24, the wean, and to have him look so very pleased with himself, and hear him big up Columbia... that's how winners should conduct themselves definitely, and Columbia could be a future holiday destination for cycling which is no bad thing which considering the reputation of the country would be a nice change!

Short Arse Rules.

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

A spot of Turbo Training and...

Emily Blunt inspired yoga today.  I was going to take a picture of the 'hot mess' that is me after a workout but after having to faff around with my uploads I've kind of dried off.  Though in saying that I'm not very crusty today.

Anyway...This video was a rather good short sharp shock for turboing.  It's based on high intensity interval training (HIIT), with 15, 30 and 45 second efforts/rest that repeat in not too long, not too many sets.  Despite featuring very briefly a couple of British professional cyclists it does have one of those saccharine American voices, but her efforts of bon homie are few and far between.

Do you have any Turbo training sessions you particuarly like?  Leave a comment below and we'll swap ideas!


Tuesday, 3 June 2014

How to routinely deal with a (hopefully) one off bout of Insomnia

If you heed anything tonight, heed this:


The above warning is imperative to the quality of sleep you get if you do manage to get any sleep this late in the sodding night!!!!!

So... You've been lying in your bed (or someone elses), after having some half baked nodding off type dream where you lived in a flat (a lot like the type the junior ministers have in In The Thick Of It, because you and the Gids have been series's, seriesing, seriesining it and you might possibly be the tall lanky one in your dream, but you don't have rooms you have pods and you're not shagging anyone) but then you realise that you're half awake and you can see the Gids's mobile phone blinking, and you're thinking your bladder full, and the only one not snoring in your bed is you.  This is how you handle it.

1.  Lie there for another 20 minutes (real time 2 mins 13 secs), convincing  yourself that no, you really are going to go to sleep any minute now.  And your bladders not full, no, it's really not, you just think it is because it's half past two in the morning.  DO NOT LOOK AT THE CLOCK!!! HEED THE WARNING ABOVE. MAKE THIS THE LAST TIME.

2. Decide that, regardless of the state of your bladder, if you are going to get up to go to the loo you will get up properly because otherwise it will be pointless getting up at all.

3.  Get up.  Do not switch light on for fear of waking Giddy Blonde (boyfriend), and Not So Giddy Blonde (Dog).  Try to find manky fleece you've been living in most mornings.  Wake everyone up looking for it.  Find manky fleece.

4.  Go for a pee.  It'll be a surprisingly short one.

5.  Descend the stairs, and decide you want a snack.  Think about making cheese sandwich.  Don't, as it's too much effort.  Have 3 day old french bread from Lidl smothered with Lurpak.  It's actually quite satisfying.  Resist the urge to eat more, knowing that you'll finish the bread and resort to licking butter out the tub like it's peanut butter out the jar just because no one will see you.

6.  Try to examine psychologically why it is you're awake, with that chuffing smuggy voice your friends hear when you think you're being wise and helpful, when really you're just being interfering and officious.  It's usually pretty obvious. It'll either be one  (or a combination) of three things:

    • Something has royally ticked you off. You'll have the situation, conversation, e-mail, what you said, what they said, how it started playing over and over and over in your head like a video. This will probably be a recurring situation, or a recurring someone that's compounding a situation that you've found yourself in (again).  It will be more to do with how you've handled things (how you couldn't stand up to this person, or change the outcome to the outcome you wanted), because, however you managed to handle it, that other persons just a massive dick head and can't help themselves (trust me, I know, it's always them). What happened, and every scenario you have in your head, what you should have said, did,  write it all down.  Including the one where you smash the fecker in the windscreen with your tiny wheeled Brompton, his car careers off into the harbour, explodes like a atom bomb, and you catch your little bike (it's boomeranged back to you because you and it are a team *air punch*) and ride off into the sunset.  Write that all down, you will feel better.
    • You've not done enough moving today.  Seriously.  Running after kids, housework, up and down the stairs in the office doesn't count (though it does help).  It's not bodily fitness you do this for, but to change your brain chemistry.  Besides from releasing endorphins, exercise helps control  'RUN NOW BUT KILL THEM ALL FIRST' chemicals in your brain that rock about if you've been under stress (and make you loose your temper). Your heart has to thump though. When your brain gets used to your heart rate rising though an intentional and non-stressful means, your brain doesn't release these chemicals quite so violently, and if they are released, exercise gives somewhere to channel that energy you naturally want to use to kill those people.   If you're not used to exercise, just start with getting your heart rate up and quit just before you absolutely feel you have to.  Don't have time?  You massive liar.  1 minute shince (aka a 'run' to those who can, I can't), 1 minute walk home from work (or even get a bike!!!)  You tube sun salutations whilst your bath runs/kids nap or watch cartoons.  Get one of those mad little stepper things and hop on that 'til the adverts on Coronation Street come on (that's every 10 minutes people!).  If that's too strenuous, do it during the breaks of your favourite show. That's quite literally 3 minutes folks.
    • Your brain chemistry is a little fecked. Me, the reason I'm up now listening to birds sing and watching the sky turn a dull blue at 4.20 am is a mixture of all three.  I've been finding it difficult to get to sleep for the past couple of weeks as it's been lighter right up until 10 pm now.  It's like reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder (which I get as well, managed with even more exercise and B vitamins).  

So compound this with being ticked off at someone, (myself, I am my own dick head - I wanted to finish something today and I didn't, I just wasted my day mostly, it's not the first day of this procrastination but several),  and not doing any exercise, (I could have done 15 minutes on the turbo trainer even though I was shincing on Sunday). I'm up listening to the birdies sing.  What are the options for this kind of issue?  Well  I usually don't go for the chemically induced option until a good couple of nights of proper struggling.  I have quite a high tolerance for sleeping pills and I like to give them the best chance of working and take them only when I really need to.   Either way, unless you go holistically (see the first and second bullet points) you have to make a choice between feeling crap with no sleep, or feeling crap (and mildly jellied) with sleep.  Just know that you're going to be rubbish and useless until you tackle one (or both) of the first two issues that will be keeping you awake.

It's properly light out side my window now,  I usually have a rule that if I've been awake until dawn, I will just see the day through again since the amount of sleep I get will not be enough for the day and my sleep pattern will be out of whack. But it is half four in the morning, and if I can get up and have a shit load of coffee, I might just be OK. 

Decisions, decisions.


Monday, 2 June 2014

Look at this Picture...

...just look at it.

 It's a U bike lock attached to a seat via little Velcro-y tabbie things.  I'm talking about these bit here...

How would you, a normal person of possibly quite good intelligence go about taking your lock off the tabby things you were oh so clever to hack onto your bike so's you could carry round that damned heavy lock without having to think about it?

Would you:-

a) Spend seven, that's 7, the number between 6 and 8, (7) months fiddling around with those little tabby things, un-chritchhhing them from the bike, then from the lock, trying to get them through the little bike seat hangy plastic bits,chritchhhing them back together again, only to have to un-chritch them again and have to fiddle and re-chritch them back on to secure the lock,

or would you:

b) Unlock the bike lock, unwind the bike lock rope, slip the u-lock section off those little tabby things, that'll just sit there benignly, just to slip the lock back on again when finished using, never ever having to faff around with those tiresome little tabby things ever again.

Right.  That's what I thought.  I hope you feel superior.

Doing dumbarsed things so you don't have to.

Sunday, 1 June 2014

Fitness Challenge Results

On the 20th of May I challenged myself to do at least a half hours worth of sweaty exercise every day for the next 10 days.  Why?  I was feeling a bit miserable after finishing the Etape Caledonia and wanted something to work towards.  I wanted to do something that would be hard and see the effect it had on me, my body, and how I would approach it.

I didn't manage every day - I think I managed 7 out of 10 days (like cats).  I also forgot the rule of not stacking extra exercise and counting that for the previous or next day (see here).    On the whole I did think the 10 days would be hard to do since there was a very real chance of me over training (and lets face it, I've had a cold I can't shift since I started this so I probably have a little), but I've also tried to find a few things I've wanted to go back to and have a proper go of.  Swimming for example, and running again.  I have to admit I've really enjoyed my route through dappled sunny Seaton.

Things I've learnt:

1.  I could definitely step up the sessions to two days in a row, then a rest day.

2. Cross Training is in order.  Going back to the running isn't as hard as I thought it would be.  The skipping had a worse effect.  But I recon - don't worry, I'll still be cycling mostly - I could change it up.  Perhaps a cycling session one day then running or swimming or yoga the next.

3. I may be developing an addiction for exercise things, challenges and take-parts.  I was struggling after the Etape, just generally feeling miserable and a bit put out. More so than any normal person should. Now this is over I feel a 'Poo poo is me' descending.  God, I really am spoiled arent I.

What could I do next?  Any thoughts let me know in the comments below!


Saturday, 31 May 2014

Didn't do any exercise yesterday either...

...instead I was at the Pitodderie CAMRA Beer Festival.  Partaking of many different beers.  Though I appear to want to write Bears.  I had many half pints of Bears.  If I was drinking bears instead of beers would that be a better excuse?

Also, I've kind of lost count but is 10 days up yet?  Needless to say I didn't do any today either on account of my, 'ahem', cocktail flu.


Thursday, 29 May 2014

Skipping has killed me.

Honestly, see those red lightening strikes, it's never hurt anywhere ever that much before.

 It's only come on in the past hour (so that's the reason I've not done any exercise all day), and it's quite literally only a two inch section at the very top.  It's excruciating.

 Does any one know, like biologically or anatomically damaged?  And if it's biological or anatomical?


Wednesday, 28 May 2014

Skip! Skip! Skip to ra loo my darling!

Did some skipping today.  Wasn't too bad but accidentally wiped the results/cals/jumps from my Asda Fancy Skip Rope.  So you'll have to have my sweaty shirt as proof instead.

The mushed sweaty bit at the torso is where I wiped my face.  I haven't sweated all over because I was wearing a wicking vest under this and I don't think ya'll are ready to see that yet.


Put that in you're pipe and smoke it!

I went running AND swimming yesterday.  And guess what happens when you exercise (nearly) every day?  You get knackered.   Well, it was supposed to be challenging, and tiring, otherwise why would you bother.

On the plus side when I was running in Seaton Park yesterday, the music I run to and my pace aligned like astrologic stars and this was my view as The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel was playing (the delicious last bit where the big orchestra kicks in and the string instruments bring up the rear).

The swimming was quite enjoyable.  I managed about 10 or so lengths which isn't too bad I thought, though it will take me a bit of time to get up to it I think.  

I think I'll do an aerobic kick boxing session today.


Monday, 26 May 2014

I've done nothing again.

I'm a poo poo head failure.  We were supposed to go swimming but I forgot we had dinner with the Gid's Parents.  Mr and Mrs Gids.  So I've stuffed my little facey with a veggie pie thing, tou'ees and cabbage.

I will go running (and possibly swimming) tomorrow.  Promise.


Sunday, 25 May 2014

Four slices of buttered and honeyed toast...

...do not for exercise make.  

I've not done any exercise today.  You know the whole #fitnesschallenge thing.  Instead, I've had a day of eating.  Fried egg and potato scones, ice cream, toast, bananas.

The butter and honey melted down the sides of the toast like tasty liquid gold.


Saturday, 24 May 2014

(Wrote this last night but forgot to publish)Curiouser, and Curiouser

So having basically ensured that I won't be walking properly for a fair few days (it's muscle fatigue, the kind that gets sore the further away from the incident, and slacks off after you move) I decided to do some yoga this morning.  A mixture of hatha and Ivangar, as thems my hommies.  I was trying to put some effort into it, and got quite a sweat on but after I finished I looked at my heart rate monitor and it said 68 bpm.  My resting heart rates 60.  My pottering about heart rate is usually about 80, as is my getting ready for a ride.  Is this normal?  Please let me know.

I'll obviously keep an eye on it over the next couple of days.



Sweaty Betty Strikes again.

When I'm wanting an easy time of tit I tend to go for a turbo training session.  Which is what I did today.  My da's up so I managed this as soon as I got up (more or less).  I've managed to burn 500 cals but i didn't look at my heart rate - though before it was more of a normal rate.


Thursday, 22 May 2014

As predicted I'm in a lot of pain.

My calves aren't playing and my heels aren't talking to the floor.  And bizarrely, I have a weird tender spot right between my rib cage, but generally my bottom half is generally argumentative, especially when it's being told to move.

Needless to say I did some cycling today.  42 minutes-ish.  I think some yoga might be in for tomorrow, then on Saturday my top half can have something narky to say.


Wednesday, 21 May 2014

I'm injured!

I might have to have it amputated.    My first run in quite a while and I'm feeling it.  I managed 2.3 miles which isn't bad but... I think I might find tomorrow difficult.  I'm not looking forward to going down the stairs. Stats on the Twitter.


Just in case you're wondering what I'm on about click here.

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

Who's With Me?!

After more than a week off I freaked myself out by finding myself sitting up in bed.  Not waking, then sitting up, but throwing myself bolt up right and then wondering what I was doing there.  With my eyes already open.  The Eids promptly crapped himself then fell back to sleep having no memory of it this morning what-so-ever.  We had a whole conversation about it last night.  He asked what I was doing, I said I didn't know, he said when was the last time you did some exercise?  I said the Etape Caledonia 2014, and that I think I was dreaming.  He was still asleep through this entire exchange apparently.  For me, sitting bolt up right (whilst not a big deal in itself) is quite close bouncing off walls - trying to get through doorways that aren't actually there - and herding a flock of Buffys into bed (the dog not the slayer).  Both are recurrent themes in my sleep walking.

I'm imposing on myself a challenge.  I'm going to exercise every day between now and the end of the month.  The rules are:

1.  It has to be crusty, manky, sweat inducing exercise.  Nothing done in normal every day clothing, including pootling about on the Brompton, counts.

2.  It has to be 30 minutes plus. OVER 30, that's 3  Ohh. Minutes over.  

3.  It can be any sort of exercise, cycling, Yoga (if you don't find yoga hard you're not doing it right), but see No. 1 for restrictions.  I'm including this because I want to change it up a wee bit, and do some cross training.  Particuarly since now a baby could arm wrestle me and win.

4.  There is no time in lieu.  So if  we do 45 minutes one day, we do not get to do 17 minutes the next day. So if we do an hour one day, we still need to do thirty plus minutes the next day.

4.  I shall utilise Garry Garmin to prove it.

5. This can happen any time of the day, though my shall aim will be to get this done in the morning.

I'm not sure about embedding the results every day, I may just do the stats - time, heart rate, activity etc.  I'm on twitter (@aWeegieUpNorth) and have mapmyride on my twitter account and facebook so a link to in depth stats will be available.  If anyone really gets a benefit from seeing the exercise info that in depth, please let me know and I'll embed it (it's not that much of a fuss to put it on the post, but really, how many times do people need to see me cycle to Udny).

I have already done 40 minutes of Youtuber kick boxing, which I'll update soon on mapmyride (yes, that was sneaky of me).

If anyone else fancies taking part, or is doing a similar challenge, let me know in the comments and we can keep each other motivated!


Tuesday, 13 May 2014

As Beautiful and Terrible as the Dawn...

... More Treacherous than the Sea!
Stronger than the foundations of the Earth!!!

I'm just generally ace me.  Because *FANFARE*

Check that time People!

Just in case you missed it:

Started in:Pitlochry, Scotland, GB
Distance:80.9 mi
Elevation:3875 / - 3870 ft
Moving Time:05:23:29

That would have me beating both, BOTH, my target time (less than 6 hours, and forty four minutes quicker than last year) and my Wave time by 7 minutes.  That is also my official time - I started Garry Garmin just before we entered the starting gate - and we didn't stop once.  

We (me and the Gids) probably could have got under 5hrs 20 but we lost each other at the top of Schiehallion.  On most hills he waits at the top, I see him and he moves off again and I catch up but he went straight through to the feed station a couple of miles away and waited there.  I thought I'd perhaps missed him at the top when he moved off but I couldn't find him as I'm usually only a couple of minutes behind, and when I couldn't see him on the road ahead I thought I'd gone passed him so slowed down.  I really didn't want to stop because when you stop it's so much difficult to get started again, it really is horrendous, so I slowed down for a bit.  In the end I ended up asking a Red Van Man at the top of Schiehallion, as darling boyfriend does like to cut a dash in a German Commander style helmet and board shorts, which was one of the highlights of the trip.  Red Van Man was getting ready to say 'No' when I started with 'Have you seen...' but then there's that recognition that folk have when they know an answer and say to themselves 'No wait, I have actually.'  The Red Van Man was so pleased with himself he even pointed in the direction the Gids was heading (which incidentally was the way all the cyclists were heading, it being a race and all).    

Another kind of highlight - it also doesn't really show me in a good light - was actually going up on the  climb itself.  I passed a lady who was having a hard time of it and I accidentally said 'Nearly there!' and she was like 'Really!?  I haven't done this in a couple of years, I can't remember!'  And I had to go 'No, actually, we're about half way.'  I was so ashamed of myself I couldn't stay behind and try to draft or pace her.  So.  Bad Jakky.

What else.... The weather was pretty spot on.  Cloudy, with a very slight cooling wind for the most part, and dry.   By my reaconing it's probably a pretty fast average time for the sportive generally this year because of the conditions.  Going round we did notice a lot more groups and 'cycle friends' all drafting each other, though that could have been because we were managing to keep up in our 'wave' as it were.  There were also one or two very serious lone wolves.  Particuarly in the last 30 or so miles of the race.   We - and this is in no way a boast because we were over taken by a fair few - over took a couple of single riders who would make a point of over taking us (or me rather, the Gids seemed to think one particular man was concerned with overtaking me) then drop off again, and we'd have to go round them.  Me and the gids don't always draft, and tend to cycle all over the place, as I can go faster than what he manages to draft at (some times), so the gids would move forward, I'd catch up with the gids - mostly cycling in two across style, and then the lone wolf would overtake us and slow down. We'd have to slow down, overtake him then it'd all start again for another four miles.  I don't think he was drafting or anything, because you'd say wouldn't you?  If you wanted to.   As we were going marginally faster we'd drop them eventually but if they were drafting it would have been easier for them to just sit behind us for a while.  In sportives like these there's no point in cycling to someone elses race really.  We overtook some proper knackered looking Freds on the last couple of miles also, so I'm sure there's a fair few have at it at KOM and the sprint, and probably a few of the down hill sections as well.   There were also some interesting cycling styles.  Particuarly that of the knees pedal outside the elbows.  I can't decide if it's because their bike seats not high enough, they're worried they'll squash their balls or if their vanity would be crushed by sitting more up right as that would get their bellies out the way and be better for their knees all round.  There were quite a few mountain bikes this year, who'd overtake me on the hills then we'd pass them going down the way and on the flats, as well as shit a more girls which was ace.  The first year I did it there was only a handful, same the second year again, but this year I'd not be surprised if it was close to 50/50 which is quite heartening to see.

On my performance:  Really quite pleased.  Obviously the time speaks for itself. I've been having a weird left hip thing when using my Muddyfox shoes - I've been interchanging between the muddyfox cycling shoes which are more like racing shoes, and the (I want to say they're Giro but I don't think so) which are 2.5 sizes to long for me.  When I'm in my muddy fox shoes after wearing the Giro ones I get sore hips which seem to alternate depending on which side was sore last time.  The Giro ones I don't like wearing because whilst they are more comfortable to walk in, on long journeys my feet begin to slip inside them.  On the muddy fox ones my feet are secure and I feel like I get a better grip on the pedals as I push and pull.  On Sunday my hip started to niggle about 30 miles in, then in the last 20 miles I couldn't stop peddaling because every time I did my hip would scream and I'd feel sick up my back.  I was both dreading and desprate to finish physically.  I was sure I was not going to be able to get off the bike without crying.  The last 20 miles were the worst mentally.  We averaged 15.5 miles an hour which is a fair lick for me, most of my training rides have been around 13ish.  But despite the mph we were showing (17-18 on some stretches) the miles felt longer but the minutes faster and then that half mile slow drag into town to the end....  Ughhhhh.  In saying that, overall it's not the most unpleasant I've felt (Ullapool is my Nemesis) and it's my best race so far in terms of goal reaching, general enjoyability, discomfort and cycling.

  One thing we did do this year was get a High5 Race Packs and generally followed the instructions which was rather good.  I intend to go into this in more detail as it probably deserves some attention.  Incidentally, their sportive, triathlon, and mountain bike instructions are all the same.

I really am very pleased with this.  I'm finding it hard to believe as I was expecting to 'just' get under the 6 hours, or just miss it.  I'm also finding myself a little saddened not having that to aim for.  It sounds bizzare to say but I'm, I don't know.  I'm normally a bit bereft after this particular race, feeling melancholy and post christmas bluesy as it's noloner there to shoot for.  But this is especially so since I said I'd keep going until I hit under 6 hours for my time.  I'm about to pre register for next year, and we've already pre booked the hotel we stay at but I'm not warming to 'Under 5 hours'.  I know it is more impressive than under  6, but I just don't feel the magic.  It's not tantalising.  It doesn't sparkle.  Now is that because I'm that much of a masochist, and the under 6 has been difficult and now under five seems like a breeze since it is only 23 minutes difference (my ego may have exploded a bit here, I'll admit that).  On the flip side this downward feeling could be especially accute since it has been such a triumph this year, and it'll be difficult to top next year.

I don't know.  I just don't know.  I do wish I'd got one of those sticky engraving tabs you could put on your medal now though.


Saturday, 10 May 2014

Last Post Before Etape Caledonia 2014!

What's done is done.  What's been trained has been trained and now it's the eve of the race.

How am I feeling?  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't apprehensive about tomorrow. I haven't done as much training as I did last year, but I've certainly done more training than I did the previous year but not as much as the first year (to wit I am never doing that amount of training again).  We are faster this year.  I want to beat my time last year (if I don't I'll be back next year under 6 hrs).  A billion things could go wrong tomorrow - a tire puncture or two, a bad crash or the tire puncture pixies could be out - but I feel like I'm faster this year than I have been in previous years, and I am faster, I have the stats to prove it. Not consistent stats but stats none the less, so... 

That assides what prep have I done?  Well there has been some Carbo Loading Caledonia Style:

I have to confess that that's not my portion you're looking at (you can tell because I don't 'do' pickled eggs), but mine, with a cup of Chinese curry sauce (a delicacy only available in Britain I'm told, as besides from Thai style curries the Chinese don't do curry as we have it), is pretty much the same, in fact you can see my pale Scottish hand on its way to stubbing my face in the back ground.

In further related prep news, given the amount of gear I have (and lack of idea), I negated to bring a cycling jersey with pockets in the back.  It's reporting to be very warm tomorrow, and going up Slug Road last week - there were no freak arsed clowns - I was streaming sweat as I had my Lidl sports top (very good if you can get them,) and my purple Altura jacket which was sweltering.  So I was going to wear my rab hooded top (thinnish but strangely windproof), with my Lidl sports top and an Endura jack-in-a-pack as it's supposed to be showery and then heavy rain about 1ish.  The only thing that has pockets is my camel pack and my little cross bar pouch which will not hold the items I plan to take. I wasn't going to wear my black endura jacket I've worn in previous years because it's a bit done and looking worse for it, but it did have those handy deep hoach (the chubby bit just below your kidney, almost on but not quite the back of your hips) pockets good for stashing stuff.   

I also don't know how I'm going to take my rain jacket off without stopping.  See now if I had just done and made do I wouldn't be thinking about this now.  

Actually, do you know what... I have my bike lights attached by safety pins and some small plastic bags.  I can attach the small plastic bags onto the inside of the waistband of my trousers.  There. That's potentially solved that problem.  

Wish me luck.

See you after.


Saturday, 3 May 2014

Only a week to go!!!


But it's fine!  We went and did part of the Trossachs route we normally do a couple of weeks before the Etape, and I crashed and burned when we got 10 miles from the end, of a 50 mile ride, and the Etape Caledonia's 80 miles, but it's fine!  I've done two 30 mile training runs making a point of not using the granny gear, it hasn't made me any faster, but it's FINE!  I did another YouTube hill training thing.  It was soo hard I nearly fainted, I had to lie on the floor with my head between my legs, I didn't even know I was lying on the dog bed but it'll be FINE!!!!  HONESTLY FINE!!!!!!  It'll be a BREEZE!!!! EASY WEASEY!!!! A WEE BIT SNEEZEY!!!!  

So yeh,  we're going out to do about 50 miles or so tomorrow, and today it feels like someone's been winding the big muscles in my legs up like a jack-in-the-box.   If I'm half way up Slug Road and creapy freak arsed clowns bound from the middle of my thighs I'll let you know.


Wednesday, 23 April 2014

If you were to look out my window just now...

...you'd think I lived on the edge of some cloud.

I intended to go cycling today, and do the Udny route but there's a haar so thick I can't see the opposite side of the river bank I live on.   On consulting BBC Weather I found this:

So I guess it's misty all over.  Haar is pretty frustrating for me. It's very pleasant to cycle in with no wind, the air for the most part is cool and sweet to breathe, but hearing and visability is pretty shocking with the mist like wearing earplugs and sunglasses when you're in the library, in the dark.   I wouldn't usually let this stop me but I don't fancy going out myself, because at least if something happends the other can get help, and two pairs of ears on the road is better than one.

I also seem to have misplaced my chest strap, and because I'm such an athlete it's an essential bit of kit I need.  Our back room is a mess and the turbo trainer's under a pile of crap so... This is now sounding like excusses.  Right.  *gives self a sharp slap*.  Right, I'll set up the turbo and stop being such a wet wipe.


Monday, 21 April 2014

My Leggies are SORE!

I really don't think I'm suited to late-in-the-day cycling.  My legs feel heavy and nervy.  I've had my milk shake and some soup and some Skittles (the 'taste the rainbow kind', no bowling kind.) I'm still struggling, but I'm faster.  A whole half mile per hour faster up Warren Wood. So I've kind of earned these sore legs.

In other news, the Etape is looming... ish.  I've to be fair taking it easy, with the odd folly out on the brompton but I haven't hit the Turbo in some time.  This week was mostly taken up painting the living room with a whole day devoted to shelves that thought they were a prop in Kripton Factor.  I'll remedy that tomorrow with a session - a short half hour.  We're doing a large route at the weekend, so we can put in a few routes the week after should we need to.  Perhaps a drive out to Warren Wood and hill repeats.  There's also the fairly big hill just out our road so, plenty of options available

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Yesterday I did this....

In words that made you want to slap Jennifer Anniston 'Here's the science bit':

It was a lovely evening yesterday, bright for the most part but a little windy.  There were plenty of cyclists on the road including a Fred (his thighs were bigger than my neck with the muscle hanging from his legs like meaty bingo wings. It didn't stop him drafting us down Deeside Railway line though - he did thank us to be fair and I can't really gripe, me up front of the Gids is like trying to use a tea spoon to clear a path in three foot snow).  He appeared to be with a Mamil who both would have been much faster than us if they'd known where they were going.   We kept seeing them just off our corners looking at their phones/gadgets just to pass them, then have them pass us.  Indeed, going through the little ashphalt path way to get to Warren Wood and the Horrible Hill we expected them to pass us on the road then check where they were going.

On account of me not having a place of work, and not having to deal with people I really have no reason to feel tired today but I do.   But the living room won't paint itself and B&Q won't come to me so I must sally forth somewhat grumpy and cantankerous.


Friday, 11 April 2014

Today I did this!

I hope you're all suitably impressed.  I'm knackered now and have since downed a bottle of fanta, Dominos potato wedgies, their garlic bread and half a medium pizza.  I've been hungry. Oh, and half a packet of tangtastics that I ate so fast I broke into a sweat.

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

I'm rethinking... the situation (twiddles fingers like Fagan from that orphan film where he had to leave the work house due to porriage gate)

What was it called?

Anyhoo.  I cycled quite a bit last week but not this week as I seem to have had some kind of cold in the past couple of days so taking it easy.  Am going to do a session on the turbo trainer today and then perhaps see about hitting the big hill across from my house next week.  I've also put in a forty miler from Inverurie round for Sunday when I am definately going out. I am.

Further to this I feel ready to announce that I'll be reconfiguring this blog to a sleeker more helpful page (for me anyway).  I've done quiet a few of the You Tube videos these past couple of weeks so I'm thinking I could do proper reviews - with what they're good for - and links along the side.

I also have to admit that the blog has been abit aimless of late, as has the cycling.  I'm not even in deepest darkest training and I really should be.  Has my interest in the Etape wained a little.  It's not going to bode well for the under 6 hours goal is it?



Sunday, 16 March 2014

Today I did this one:

Spinning / Stationary Trainer Workout

It was an hour long and I really enjoyed this one.  The guy who made it, Tbork123, has stuck purely to effort level (% of your maximum heart rate), so you're not trying to maintain an 100 rpm at recovery level.  It's mostly hills with 'jumping'.  I wouldnt' mind another 30 minutes tacked on the end of it.

So.  We have an issue.  I've not been out on the bike yet at all.  We were supposed to be going out today but instead he lay in his bed and I went on the turbo so it's his fault really.  That's what I'm going with.  Further to this I don't think I'm drinking enough water.  I've been doing the 2:5 diet to see if I can loose a stone but I'm just really fluctuating around 10 stone as normal for the past 3 weeks.   To be fair though, when I'm doing activities to this level I usually put a few pounds on then it all begins to fall off and I go all knarly.  Hopefully.  That is the plan.

But we'll see.


Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Turns out Jensie would...

...be utterly minging and spend an hour traipsing up and down the garden with a 4 stroke lawn mower without going for a shower first.

Today I did this one:30 Minute Indoor Cycle Turbo Trainer Workout -- 2 minute intervals

Which was just a visual one and quite short and sharp in comparison to yesterdays.  So I listened to Absolute 80s Radio whilst doing it.  The cycling I mean.  Yon Richie Whats-his-face is throwing out the tuneskis!

I am getting on a lot better with it - despite that I haven't been out on the road - since at the beginning of the year I thought I was going to throw up.

I'm off to go attack the veg beds, with pony crap and compost.  Without having a shower first.  So there.


Tuesday, 11 March 2014

WWJD (What would The Jensie Do?)

I have sweated profoundly doing this:  90 Minute Indoor Trainer Workout

Now I've some gardening to do.  Do I mooch about in my very sweaty workout gear getting it
 covered in grass
 or do I go for a shower,
get changed a la Beachgrove then have another shower.  

You're going to have to forgive the funky formatting.  Blogger's doing something weird.

Hope you're all as sweaty as me!


Sunday, 9 March 2014

Recovery is part of Garry's illness...

... he just misses the satalites apparently.  On the date thing that's happening with him, I've let him link and set dates with the satalites before switching it off.  In other news I've done a 25 minute spin bike class, and an 8 minute sit up class since yesterday I did 90 minutes turbo class and that was DIFFICULT.  Still sweated alot and it says I've only burned 113 calories, but that can't be right. I'm sure I've earned some ice cream or sommhink.

These are the one's I've done today: 8 minute Abs andBest cycle class ever! - FULL 30 minutes Audio workout.  The abs class is really good, 8 exercises where you do as many repeats as you can for each set.  The Cycle class is not the best ever to be honest.  It's mildly OK.  It has good short sharp hill training sections and sprint sections, but the video's not even 30 minutes long and for a good 5 to 8 minutes Tania spends explaining how to set your bike up properly.  One more irritating thing she does is she tells you to 'Go!' and then tells you what you should be doing.  'Go!.... up a gear... sprinting...and back off.'  And I was like... What? Did I hear you right?  Did you not want me to go when you said?

I really need to get out on the big bike soon.  I'm still pootling with the brompton, but we really need to get a couple of 40 milers under our belt, we have about 8 weeks or so before the etape so we need to get it down.

What's everyone else doing?  Feel free to leave comments or feed the fish.


Saturday, 8 March 2014

Garry Garmin's Sick...

...Again.  I've done two training sessions on the turbo.  One I couldn't get on mapmyride.com because they're crap.  The dates kept appearing wrong then today, it was Garry's fault.  I should have given my little gadget a better name.  I think that's what's wrong with it.  Garry is a very dull name. It sounds like it should be short for something but it's not.

Anyhoo.  I've discovered another guy on youtube.  Colin Sandberg is his name if anyone wants to look.  It's more roadie hardcore with cadence and heart zones.  I'm not up to the cadence so I'm concentrating (or trying to) on the heart zones.  Today's was this one  which was hard.  I have a bit of a sore head after so I don't think I've had enough to drink - I am hungry as well.  I had my usual protein shake after and I've since had 4 slices of toast, crisps and some soup.  I now want a choco-peanut bar.  I might settle for some tea.


Friday, 28 February 2014

You may or may not have noticed but I have....

...been away for about 3 weeks.  Or so.  Probably or so.  I'm still on the brompton for getting out and about - I had a puncture about a week past and had to change the tyre which was surprisingly easy.  What else.  We went to Andorra for snowboarding, which I managed quite easily - I took the garmin which worked a treat.  And I would really recommend Andorra for snowboarding or general ski hols, really quite cheap and cheerful and the food was surprisingly good, the best of both Spain and France.  Patatas Bravas with spicy paprika mayonaise, and Bonbon - espresso layered with condensed milk yummy!

There's not really been a lot of cycling apart from the odd jaunt to Asda or B&Q.  We're thinking of going traveling during the summer - and having the house done for us going will be very good.   Still got the etape going for us.  So really need to get some proper road cycling under my belt.  Might do that this weekend - a 40 miler.  Yes.  Best get the finger out.

The reason I've taken the notion to blog today is that I've just done a workout by the Realfit.Tv gal.  A spot of kick boxing which I hadn't done since Glasgow.  So that's helped.  I think my arms will hurt tomorrow because there was a lot of push ups and my arms have gone a bit puny since the cycling.


Thursday, 23 January 2014

On Monday I did this one....

35 Minute Cycle Training Workout - Hill Training The guy was better than the American It's not as good as the RealTV girl.  I know this because I did another of her videos today: Cycling Workout: Cycling Through The Sandstorm. I also have statistics!  Good for me! Not for you!

AVG7.4 mph176 bpm59.0 rpm
MIN0.7 mph115 bpm15.0 rpm
MAX21.0 mph198 bpm104.0 rpm

I don't have the mile splits so you're a little lucky.


Follow by Email