Tuesday, 17 September 2013

I've been bad...

...I've been cycling on the pavement!  And a man ran across the road when it was green for traffic, and then cycled up the wrong side on Union Street to tell me off!  So I feighned interest and tried to look sorry, then cycled across the road with the pedestrians when the green man went green.

Things you should know when wearing normal clothes to cycle...

When wearking a skirt...

1.  Doesn't matter how long your skirt is, unless it's Big Fat Gypsy Long you'll need to protect your modesty by...

2.  Wear big knickers - mine are so large that the Red  Cross could erect a hospital (with several wings) in a war zone.  They're not really for show more for security because you're going to be wearing number 3...

4. Opaque Tights are a must.  Marks and Spencers finest.  They will save you should you have any wardrobe malfunctions.  I know this because...

5. Tight turquoise blue knee length pencil skirts will split quite far up at the back when you cycle.  It won't happen immediately, but it will happen.  You can negate this happening by shimming-ing the skirt up so that the split at the back (which allows you to move your legs enough to walk but not cycle) sits on your seat, but if you've not shimmied it up far enough the split at the back becomes a MAHHOSSSIVE RRRIPPPP!

Jx


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