Monday, 30 September 2013

Yoga doesn't actually mean making shapes...

...the word Yoga is figurative. Like a set of morals it's a code to live by, which is why followers are called Yogis. And there's lots of different kinds of Yoga.  There's Chi Yoga, that is very low key and easy, then there's Hatha Yoga, expelling your lungs out through your nose and washing them in a puddle easy, like what happened to some ancient Hindus after being chased to the jungle by a marauding horde (and possibly ingesting the wrong kind of mushroom).

My point is there's lots of different kind of Yoga, just like there's lots of different cyclists.  And whilst I don't particularly feel the need to knock a particular kind of Yogi, I do want to knock a particular kind of cyclist. Now I'm not person of prejudice (but then rabid bigots never think they are), and I know that every one should live their life, do yoga, cycle bikes, etc, however they want.  But then there's that bitter I-hate-you-and-just-because in the back of my brain that says 'No, not everyone. There's them'.  Or rather him.  I've only seen one of them.  He was wearing a zipper jacket with collar, the zipper pulled down enough to see his polo shirt, collar up.  He had on cargo shorts, the kind that tucked in at the knees enough to make them look like plus fours. He was riding a Specialised - not a new one but definitely high end - had egg beater pedals but was wearing deck shoes with no socks and no helmet either.  He had an air of a Don Johnson from Miami Vice, and because he wasn't wearing a helmet, he has his hair as well.  And I think that's why I hate him.  I hate his hair especially.  I mostly hate his hair and because it's attached to the rest of him I hate the rest of him too.  Actually I've changed my mind, if he was just hair I'd like him more but it's attached to his smug polo shirt wearing, beater deck shod arse.  What kind of a man leaves the house without socks in Aberdeen!!! He wasn't even wearing one sock!  He is quite clearly a monster and must be stopped.

It also hasn't escaped me that my 100th post is about a man I've never met but decidedly hate... so yeh...


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